It's the second day of the year. In two days I will celebrate my 45th birthday. It's hard not to feel that this is a momentous year even if there's part of me that also recognizes that every year can be momentous, or not, and arbitrary numbers are just that. There's nothing more significant about 45 than 44 or 38,, or 27. Yet, it feels worthy of acknowledging, so I will, because I want to follow my intuition. 2022 was weird, amazing, and excruciating. It taught me more than I imagined possible. For the first time in my life, I am settled.
Today this idea arose when talking to someone and it resonated so intensely that I just want to note it. I'll come back to it when I have more time. I started writing this post at about 9 am and it's now 6:10 pm and I have to go make dinner and be a mom.
We get to change the rules about ourselves,, our lives, our relationships, our work, our play, our expectations, our health, our values. We get to decide what feels right. It can feel so exciting and liberating when we decide to make a big shift, or any shift at all. When you have ADHD you want to do things quickly and with abandon. That's not the best idea. That's not thoughtful. That doesn't negate the need for or allowance for change - it just means that we are invited to think, take our time, and imagine the life we really want rather than just jumping into something that feels good because it's new and exciting.
Imagine that you are in an organization that decides after decades to change its operational policies. When is this most successful? Look at Elon Musk and the nightmare that is Twitter over the last two months or so. Elon came in and started making rash, emotional, feel good in the moment decisions without any regard for consequences to himself or others. This is not the way to change policy.
So as the new year begins, I invite us all to consider that change requires space to think, process, discuss, challenge, try new things, and reflect on how those changes feel. It is ok to want to change the rules of your life. Doing it with support, love, intention, honesty with yourself and others involved in the process, and self-compassion is the way to ensure that you are not responding to discomfort with reactivity or impulsivity and instead that you are engaging in a responsible personal management decision. It's hard work but it's absolutely acceptable to want change and to do what is necessary to make it happen. You are allowed to ask for things to be different.